child who has been neglected, abused, has lost -
or never had important people in his life ha
learned to distrust adults.
a baby cries, you pick him up, you hold him
close to your body, comforting him, and soothing
him. You meet his need for human contact, and
you assure him by your actions that, although he
is helpless, you are there to keep him safe.
Trust has developed.
is what went wrong for many children with
reactive attachment disorder. No one has
appropriately responded to his cries. Maybe they
are yelled at rather than comforted. Or perhaps
the person who does come is too often a
different person. Sometimes, no one comes at
all. The abused or neglected child has learned
that adults are not to be trusted. This is what
needs to be unlearned, so that he can learn to
cuddling, rocking, feeling each other?s touch,
looking into one another?s eyes; these are the
things that promote attachment and bonding. If a
child can learn that there is an adult who cares
about him, who can recognize his feelings even
when he himself cannot, and who is strong enough
to handle his behavior yet still love him, then
we have a basis upon which trust can be built.
your child suffers from reactive attachment
disorder, it is likely that no one was there for
him when he needed it most. However, if your
child was deprived of some crucial component of
infancy, he still has a need for it.
when the child is the most unlovable, you need
to show that he is loved.
not too late. Children suffering from detachment
disorder need snuggle time. Use it daily to
promote attachment and bonding.