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Reactive Attachment Disorder: Forum Posts: Lighter Side

Things I’ve Learned from My RADish

  • There is no such thing as childproofing my house.
  • If you tie a jump rope over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to swing a 32-lb. girl.
  • But it is strong enough to spread paint (or any other liquid) on all four walls of the living room.
  • You shouldn’t spray paint the air conditioning unit’s fan.
  • Fish do not like to eat hamburgers and french fries.
  • A broken piece of glass can start a grass fire in less than a minute.
  • Don’t play with matches while in bed.
  • Our fire department has a 7-minute response time.
  • Socks put over light bulbs will start a fire.
  • Play Dough (or crayons) and microwave should never be used in the same sentence.
  • When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.
  • Dirty clothes cannot be flushed down the toilet.
  • Neither can hairbrushes, toothbrushes, or three rolls of toilet paper at one time.
  • Those blue toilet discs don’t clean up easily, nor should they be used as a decorating tool.
  • Vacuum cleaners aren’t for sucking up water out of the fish tank.
  • Motor oil in the car’s tank does not make the car run faster.
  • Cleaning detergent mixed with oil and brake fluid makes lots of smoke.
  • Candle wax poured into a light socket makes mom turn seven colors of red.
  • It takes about three hours to clean the inside of a dryer after turning it on with a bottle of syrup in it for five minutes.
  • Always look in the oven before turning it on.

-- TLPETTY

Last Modified on: Saturday, August 08, 2009

  • “Don’t play in the street,” “Don’t play on the freeway,” and “Don’t sit down in the middle of the street” are all separate directives and are mutually exclusive of one another.
  • Repeating a statement louder will not necessarily make it heard. Neither will repeating it slower, in another language, or using American Sign Language.
  • It is quite possible for a 12-year-old boy to fit himself inside a clothes dryer.
  • Most people have no concept of what a “strong-willed child” actually is.

-- MWINDROTH

 

 

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