common characteristic of children with reactive
attachment disorder is that they have trouble
making appropriate eye contact with adult
caregivers. Interestingly, they might be able to
make good eye contact with peers or with
strangers, and the RAD child will usually make
excellent eye contact while he is lying to you,
or trying to maneuver you.
contact is a powerful tool. Demand it of your
child, and use it whenever you are with him. It
has been said that the eyes are the windows to
the soul, and it is helpful to consider this to
be true in regards to your child. Eye contact is not
simply looking at your child. You should strive
to look into his soul with eyes that are rested,
loving, and powerful. Loving yet powerful eyes
send a message to the child that he is safe, and
that he is okay. In order to break through the
wall that the RAD kid has built up around his
heart this message will have to be repeated over
and over, until well after he is healed.
many of those who have parented a RAD kid know,
eye contact can be a powerful expression of
love, and it can also be a weapon. Be aware of
how you use it. Hard, angry eyes will do more
harm than good. Never forget that this is what
he does in an effort to push you away.
contact should not be in only one direction.
Insist that your child make eye contact with you
whenever he is speaking to you and when you are
speaking to him. This may be a problem for the
RAD child, but it can also be thought of as a
good opportunity to practice.