Our nephew, who is twelve, has been diagnosed with depression and reactive attachment disorder. He is taking Celexa to help with his depression, and is seeing a psychologist on Mondays and an attachment therapist on Fridays, but much of the real work is done throughout the week. While it has been very hard on us, it has been especially difficult for him, a beautiful boy who is too often unsure as to whether he wants to put in the effort required for healing, or to endure the pain.

In helping him to understand his emotions, we often ask that he write essays as consequences for bad behavior, or apology letters to people who he has offended.

After calling God a “fag” repeatedly, we asked him to write an apology letter to God. After a long period of resistance, below is the text of the letter he wrote. I told him that I thought that God would be very happy with it.

To: god

Dear god, I don’t think you desirve to have a appology from me for calling you a fagot. you gave me a crapy life that no one should have, but you gave it to me anyway. I think it’s mean that you kill my dad, my aunt, then you try and give me a replacement dad, who in turn, beat the crap out of me and my mom, and yells in front of my brother. so I had to sheald my brother from him and my mom. but I got beat up just for doing that. then my life, you gave me posably one of the crapiest lifes in the world. then you make me heal from it, wich seems imposible, and I have to talk about stuff that hurts a lot.

god I am sorry I just said what I just said. I did not mean to say that, cause you don’t desirve it. and you never will, considering you gave you’re only begotten son to give earth salvation so we could all live a good life in heaven and on earth.

I am sorry I called you a fagot. You did not desirve that abuse either. I want you to forgive me from that so I know that I won’t get in trouble for doing that. I would also like it if you helped me control my anger toward everyone, including you. You probably know I don’t like being angry at anyone including you, so god please give me two things the strength to control my anger and the strength to heal. I don’t want to be like this my whole life. I don’t think I desirve to have the problems I have. I hope one day I can be healed, that way I could live a normal life with my mom and my brother. I hope you could posibly help me from doing what I did this morning again. I really hurt. So god I am sorry and I will try not to do it again because it kind of hurt and I don’t want to go to the crisis center, because I love them both and I don’t want to leave.

Last Modified on: Friday, March 02, 2007