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The
main reason that people seek therapy are
problems with relationships. Such problems might
arise at home, at work, or they might appear as
a general feeling of not fitting in.
Traditionally, attachment disorders have been
thought to be specific to children, but there is
a growing recognition that attachment issues are
a significant problem for adults as well. When
attachment issues are not resolved in childhood,
the adult is left vulnerable to problems in
forming relationships with other people. Simply,
the patterns of attachment that were learned in
childhood continue throughout the person's life
cycle, all too often to be passed on to the next
generation of children.
Until
someone breaks the chain, attachment problems
are handed down through the generations. An
insecurely attached adult, as a parent, may be
unable to form the necessary strong attachment
to his, or her, children, leaving the child
without the resources for healthy emotional
development, predisposing the child to a life of
similar difficulties. A child's first
relationship is generally with his parents, and
when these relationships are safe and loving,
the child learns to connect to others in a
healthy way. However, when a child's
relationship with his parents are hurtful,
neglectful, or absent, the child doesn't form
the capacity to form healthy relationships of
his own.
Adults
with attachment issues may be clinging,
co-dependent, and needy, or they may exert a
level of anger and hostility that prevents
others from getting close, while others might
live their lives superficially, unable to access
their true emotions, in each case relying upon
patterns that may have helped them survive as
children, but leaving them isolated as adults.
On
the positive side, there is treatment available
for adults with attachment disorder.
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