We?ve
chosen to remain somewhat anonymous on this site
- not because we?re trying to hide anything, and
certainly not because we?re ashamed - but
because we live in a fairly small town, and we
don?t want any of our nephew?s friends and
acquaintances happening upon this site while
surfing the web and making the connection
between him and his disorder. Although reactive
attachment disorder requires that he have little
or no privacy within our home, outside of the
home it is another matter, and it is clear to me
that the reactive attachment label wouldn?t make
his already difficult relationships any easier.
After
more than three years of attachment therapy and
RAD parenting, I am pleased to report that our
nephew is doing much better, so much so that his
therapist recommended that he was no longer in
need of regular therapy sessions.
He
has learned empathy and responsibility. He has
developed reasonable cause and effect thinking,
and he has learned to make good choices, none of
which implies that he always chooses to make the
good choice. His emotional age has become
unstuck and he is developing rapidly. While he
still angers easily, he has made great progress
in learning to control his anger and even to
make reasonable argument in the midst of it. It
has been months since he has become violent; and
we hope, pray, and even dare to believe that we
are beyond that.
For
this, I would like to thank Stephanie, his
therapist; Dr. Dan Hughes, who followed his
treatment carefully, even meeting with us a
couple of times; the authors of the several
books from which we have gleaned the answers to
many of the problems we faced; ATTACh, for
putting on such a wonderful conference in
Pittsburgh in 2004; everyone on our RadKid
support forum, for being there to listen and to
give advice; my wife, who persevered even when I
was weak; and especially my nephew, for not
giving up on himself, as he threatened to do
many times.
For
reasons of his privacy, I won?t go into any
details but our nephew is eighteen years old
now, and on his own - by his option. While I?d
like to be able to say that he?s doing
marvelous, the reality is that he still has a
ways to go.
Nevertheless,
I feel confident that we?ve given him the tools
that he needs to take these continuing steps,
and pray that he will use them. In the end,
perhaps that all that any of us can do.
I
am not a therapist or medical professional, but
an experienced and well-read parent.
Nevertheless, I?ll be happy to answer any
questions you may have to the best of my
ability, or to refer you to someone who can.
Better yet, join us in our forum, hosted by
Delphi Forums.
--
ken & michelle anderson
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